Wedding Meltdown no. 2

Yesterday at 8:43 am I get a text message from my brother: "We gotta talk. You wedding and my going to a deploying submarine. I'll call you later -- ok?"

Awweeeesome. 

Melt down no. 2

Today at 9:04am I got the final phone call that everything is A-OK for a new date two months prior to the original date!

Awesome!

Order has been restored. 

Wedding Melt Down no. 1

I'm not proud of it. It happened. My trite, original intention of a comedy blog is going to take a drastic and most depressing of all: [typical blog!] a turn towards the happenings of my life--my recent engagement and wedding planning. It will be OK because it cause it really is human interest. The royal wedding is prime example no. 1 .... isn't it? Here goes....


My amazing, handsome, smart and most definitely the best match for me foreign fiancée and I were discussing some wedding details.... Well, one detail. The photographer. 


Groom to be says: "Why do we need wedding pictures? Didn't you say we are doing engagement pictures? How is it different?"


Me: a mess of tears + muddled yelling + "BECAUSE ITS A WEDDING AND ALL WEDDINGS HAVE PICTURES!!!!!!!" + "TELL ME HOW I HEARD YOU WRONG THAT YOU HATE OUR WEDDING?" + more crying = meltdown no. 1


I'll be better next time. I promise. Please don't call the Bridezilla tv show yet. 

the hamster ball

Sometimes waiting isn't exactly boring.


To me, waiting feels a lot more like going through life in a hamster ball. This slightly separated and detached existence from your real life with a raised level of anxiety that plays out in your inner monologue surrounding the desire to change your situation that unfortunately is dependent on someone else changing it for you.


Shouldwegotolunch?NO.whatiftheycallandIcan'ttalkinanoisyrestaurant?Itcan'tgotovoicemail.
Iwanttosleepintomorrow.NO.whatiftheycallearlyandIwakeupsoundinglikeIjustwokeupwhenIanswerthephone;causeitdefinitelycannotpossiblygotovoicemailIwillcallbackandtheywon'tanswer. 
MaybeIshouldwearsomethingnice,Idon'twantittohappenwhenI'mwearingthejeansthatdon'tfitmeright.Dangit,myhairdoesn'tlookgoodeither.Therebetternotbepictures.






Hamsters are so stupid. 

Booted.

Yesterday was planned to be the BEST day. I had the day off. I planned the day off. Glorious day-off-plans to be had! 


I enjoyed those plans, very much. What I didn't plan however... was getting the mail.


I have an oil change you need to schedule.
I need my 50,000 mile car check up to schedule, should only be 150 ... if everything goes right.
I owe the dentist 31, or else collections will call me! Wait, why do I owe the dentist?
Toll road bill. 2.70.
...
Have more glorious-day-off-plans. Sushi with friend.
...
Hang out with boyfriend--watch Operation Repo; tried to focus on glorious-day-off-plans that were glorious. Don't think about everything you need to schedule on your next day-off-money-sucking-planned day.
... 
Car booted.  Apparently there are places you're not supposed to park. A warning would have been nice. Did you know they take 75 in cash only? No checks. No credit cards. 


Me: "Do I look like a drug dealer to you?"
Car boot guy: "no, but we only take cash."
Me: "How am I supposed to go to an ATM and get you cash at 11:30 at night when I cannot drive--cause there's a boot on my car?"
Car boot guy: "I'm sorry that's just our policy."
Me: "There are some serious holes in your policy."
*Boyfriend saves the day* 
...
Lesson learned. Don't watch Operation Repo.


Next time I get booted I hope its with cowboy boots... those will probably be more than 75 though.

Peeving

What is a "pet peeve" exactly? My definition would be: Observations about life and other people that do not have moral consequences but are moderately to HIGHLY annoying.  ... Your task? Ask someone what their top 3 are. 

Benefit: You gain the potential to learn a lot about a person.

Caution: You can gain more pet peeves.

happy peeving.

zex knows

Between yogurt and pocket change there is an observation to be had. I'm not here to mull on things moral, which is why liars don't count. 


People tell us all the time about who they really are, the best cues are never when they are talking about themselves.